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Back To Basics Weekend
Saturday 15th September 2001
 

The Weakest ‘Morse’ Link

In the absence of trained musicians and court jesters, the after dinner entertainment took a decided turn for the worse when six members of the Society were in some cases volunteered, and in some cases cajoled, into taking part in a special edition of the ‘Weakest Link’.

In the absence of the acid tongued Anne Robinson we were left with a substitute of equally magnificent stature. Mistress Antony Robinson who donned an Anne Robinson mask whilst apologising profusely for not being able to find a ginger wig!

The atmosphere was electric as the competitors took their places at the front of the room and prepared to battle in the ‘Morse Challenge’ for the ‘Endeavour Cup’. Those competing introduced themselves to the crowd who were by now rosy cheeked and rather excitable.

I myself was first up and was shamed into passing on a question relating to Morse’s car number plate but consoled by the pint of lager in my left hand. Then came Janet who answered her question correctly with the majesty of a gazelle sweeping across the Serengeti (as viewed from a Torquay hotel window). Philip Attwell seemed to be crippled with fear when Mistress Robinson screamed “come on, we haven’t got all night!” whilst John, Anne and Mike sat back in terror at the sheer magnitude of the task ahead.

After the first round Janet was by far the strongest link, and naturally this lead to her being unanimously voted off. When asked to explain my cowardly actions as the true weakest link I could only comment that Janet was far too threatening and had to leave.

As we bumbled our way through the next rounds it was clear that I was constantly emerging as the least knowledgeable contestant and after claiming that a drawing of the Oxford Dodo was in fact a duck was convinced that I might go. Cunningly I bullied Philip into voting with me and watched with growing malevolence as John, Mike and Anne were given their marching orders by the increasingly vitriolic Mistress Antony Robinson and duly presented with special edition ‘Weakest Morse Link’ T-shirts.

Going into a head to head with Philip was a nerve-wracking experience, as he was by far the greater contestant throughout the dual and in my mind I intended to do the noble thing and defer to his greater knowledge. However, the idea of the solid pewter trophy on my mantelpiece filled me with a deep-seated competitiveness that whilst only lasted for thirty seconds was enough to secure my position as overall winner.

It will be to my eternal shame that I won the ‘Morse Challenge’ under the noses of such brilliant competition, but … I am sure I will get over it.

The ‘Endeavour Cup’ will be a regular feature of weekends to come and it is up to the winner every year to set the next year’s challenge. Suggestions so far range from abseiling down the side of the Randolph Hotel using only a piece of dental floss for support to riding deer bareback across the greens of Magdalen College. Keep them coming!

The ‘Morse Weakest Link’ was a great way to draw the evening to a close and I hope that everyone in the audience enjoyed it as much as the competitors and of course, Mistress Antony Robinson!

All that was left was to draw the raffle which included a magnificent signed, framed photograph of John Thaw, a boxed set of all of the Inspector Morse novels, a book of Housman’s poetry, other wonderful gifts and of course the obligatory woodpecker.

Even as the rain poured down outside the college it wasn’t enough to dampen the spirits of everyone who had enjoyed a wonderful evening.